(no subject)
Sep. 25th, 2006 02:58 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
small_hen*Sighs*
I am having a miserable night.
Rarely (maybe once every couple years) I get struck with depression that can last anywhere from a few weeks to six months. Every time, this depression starts with a ‘stressor’ – I got it worst, for example, the summer before I entered college. I’m afraid it might be starting up again tonight. Basically, I’m freaked out about getting into nursing school (will I be accepted, will there be any requirements that will keep me from getting in this Spring, will I bomb the interview, will I be any good at it if I do get in, that sort of thing).
To make things worse, I was trying to get to sleep, when, at 1:00am, I got up to get a drink of water and a lizard ran down my wall. It was one of those little pink ones, so it could have been worse, but I couldn’t catch it and now I can’t sleep! I have an absolute horror of bugs/small animals in my room while I’m sleeping. It’s a fear of infestation, and I’ve had it since I was small. I’m really upset because I have a chemistry class in the morning and it’s almost 3:00 am and I’m still wide awake- exhausted, but wide awake.
Sigh. If I’m lucky, this won’t become depression. Really, that’s why I’m here; I’m trying to write out all of these bad feelings before they can take hold. I also read some of the Bible – I was raised in a religious home, and I find Psalms very soothing – which helped.
Honestly, though, this couldn’t have happened in a worse week- I’ve got two test, a presentation, and a slue of homework all due before Friday. I think I need a cyber hug. :(
I am having a miserable night.
Rarely (maybe once every couple years) I get struck with depression that can last anywhere from a few weeks to six months. Every time, this depression starts with a ‘stressor’ – I got it worst, for example, the summer before I entered college. I’m afraid it might be starting up again tonight. Basically, I’m freaked out about getting into nursing school (will I be accepted, will there be any requirements that will keep me from getting in this Spring, will I bomb the interview, will I be any good at it if I do get in, that sort of thing).
To make things worse, I was trying to get to sleep, when, at 1:00am, I got up to get a drink of water and a lizard ran down my wall. It was one of those little pink ones, so it could have been worse, but I couldn’t catch it and now I can’t sleep! I have an absolute horror of bugs/small animals in my room while I’m sleeping. It’s a fear of infestation, and I’ve had it since I was small. I’m really upset because I have a chemistry class in the morning and it’s almost 3:00 am and I’m still wide awake- exhausted, but wide awake.
Sigh. If I’m lucky, this won’t become depression. Really, that’s why I’m here; I’m trying to write out all of these bad feelings before they can take hold. I also read some of the Bible – I was raised in a religious home, and I find Psalms very soothing – which helped.
Honestly, though, this couldn’t have happened in a worse week- I’ve got two test, a presentation, and a slue of homework all due before Friday. I think I need a cyber hug. :(
