Ah, Good Old Fashioned Nightmare Fuel

[small_hen]

So, I’m in a used bookstore today, waiting for my sister to obsessively finish hunting for rare young adult novels (we have weird hobbies in my family). I wander into the fantasy section, look up, and see a book cover that disturbed the ever-living SHIT out of me. Really, they couldn’t have made this cover more ugly or upsetting if they tried.

So of course, I had to shell out the $2.50 and scan it in for y’all to see:





It’s a book of short stories. The title story is about a (non-centaur) guy who is called “Three Legged Stallion”. Contrary to the picture, this is not because he walks with a cane.

For the love of God, if you're going to draw a centaur, give it front legs! Damn, that's erie. The thing that freaks me out the most, though? The guy kinda looks like Jeeves, doesn’t he?

Comments

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

I have to ask, is it about a man with a huge penis? because you're making it sound like a story about a man with a huge penis, and that is even more disturbing in the context of that picture.

[csi-sanders1129.livejournal.com]

Thats the vibe I was getting, too.

No, just, please no. xD

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

I agree. Please, no. *Shudder*

Are you still visiting your friend? Having a good time?

[csi-sanders1129.livejournal.com]

Me? I was at my grandmoms house until this afternoon. I'm home now. ^_^

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

I thought you were going to visit a friend - KMKMLM or something like that.

[csi-sanders1129.livejournal.com]

lol, yeah, thats on saturday. but thanks ^^

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

Ah, gotcha. *wuz confuzed*

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

It is a story about a man with a huge penis, who one day goes impotent. He starts trying every remedy avalible - and that's as far as I got before losing interest.

I was mostly upset by the asthetics of the drawing. WHERE THE F@(K ARE THE CENTAUR'S FRONT LEGS?! AAAAAAHHH!

[rivers-bend.livejournal.com]

I would concur that the aesthetics of the drawing are very VERY wrong, but it still strikes me as more wrong that one would illustrate such a story with that drawing. WTF with the horse's legs at all?

All the size queens I have known were men. though there does seem to be a lot of squeee over Jared Padalecki and his bulge of enormity.

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

That's probably just because you can see evidence of it, not because it's huge. But that's just me.

Yeah, the drawing is a VERY weird choice for what is basically a poorly written sex story, but I was fixated on its horror before I even knew what it was about.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

I do know some size queens who are women but I'm not one of them. Big giant dicks look hot in porn but porn is by definition fantasy. Some of the absolute BEST sex I've ever had was with guys who were not real well endowed but they knew what the hell they were doing.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

PS. Ennui, did you read "Slippery Fingers"? it's my Jeeves and Wooster entry in mmom and you were one of my inspirations for writing it.

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

I...woah, I inspired a fanfiction? One entitled "Slippery Fingers" no less? Should I be honored, or just turned on? :)

I shall go look for it, as soon as I've finished my run. What's an mmom? That might help.

[chocolate-frapp.livejournal.com]

Merry Month of Masturbation Challenge on LJ. Whole lotta wank fics going on. I wrote a House one and a Jeeves and Wooster one (uhh, can you tell I have a slight Hugh Laurie fetish?)

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

Ha! I fiugred you might.

[skyblue-reverie.livejournal.com]

The drawing is very, very wrong. The story sounds very wrong also. Is it wrong that I now have Jeeves-as-a-centaur fic brewing in my brain? Not that it'll never see the light of day. Or, hey, how about Jeeves-with-a-massive-penis-who-suddenly-goes-impotent-and-Bertie-has-to-try-to-help-him-get-better fic? What's that? I'm a totally sick puppy? Well, yeah, okay. I agree. :p

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha! The first? Very wrong. Centaurs kinda creep me out. BTW, did you know that in the Buffy comics, Dawn will soon be turned into a centaur? Seriously. They made her a giant for a while, and when all the fans got sick of that, they announced that she would be a CENTAUR in an upcomming issue. I just kinda threw up my hands and said, "What the hell, Joss?"

The second idea, though? I'd TOTALLY read that! I mean, I already figure Jeeves has a pretty big penis, and Bertie thinking of ways to help him deal with his impotency - yeah, I'd SO read that. Haha! Bertie would be so *EAGER* about it. And you know there'd be an element of insecurity and reassurance.

BTW, I'd LOVE to talk on Sunday. Oh, and if you want to rent KKBB, I've got a fic just completed that needs a beta. If you a) have no interest in the movie or b) have no time to beta, I FULLY understand. But, if you want...

Mwah!

[rondav.livejournal.com]

AACCKKKCKCK
thats a reeeally creepy picture. omg....i kinda want to..cuddle into a corner.

before you ask..
i saw this "random post" on myLJ lol...

[ennui-blue-lite.livejournal.com]

See, that's how I felt about it. I saw the book, then actually took a step away from the shelf.

You got me on Random Post? That's awesome. Though I guess it sucks for you, since you were instantly assaulted with the picture of an amputated centaur.

[rondav.livejournal.com]

Hahahaha yeahhh I ended up sharing your picture with my friends, they find it equally as creepy. Ehehehe
I think its amazing. Hah!