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[personal profile] small_hen
Title: I Don’t Need a Doctor, Damnit, I Am a Doctor!”
Author: [ profile] ennui_blue_lite
Fandom: Nu!Trek
Summary: Jim and Bones play doctor. Jim has more fun than Bones.
Rating: G
Wordcount: 479
A/N: Written for [ profile] yeomanrand, who is in my thoughts. Betaed by [ profile] skyblue_reverie

“Damn it, Jim, who’s the doctor here, you or me?”

“Shh! Stay still, I’m new at this.” Jim waved the scanner around Bones’ temples, like some large, overly annoying insect, while Bones tried to work up the energy to glare at Jim. Apparently, it didn’t come across. “You look constipated, Bones. Should I add it to the list of symptoms?”

“Don’t you have a test coming up? Better go study.”

“What? While my boyfriend is seriously ill?” Jim looked wounded.

“Your what!?"

“You’ve got a better word?”

Bones paused. “No. Anyway, it's not that bad. It’s just a cold.”

“It’s a very gross cold.”

“Thanks, Jim, that makes me feel much better.”

“Quit whining, I’m almost done.” The tricorder beeped, and Jim grinned triumphantly. “You have a fever.”

“Brilliant deduction, doctor. I could have told you that.” Bones tugged the blanket around his shoulders tighter and threw himself onto his side with a huff. “How high is it?”


“That’s all?”

Jim raised an incredulous eyebrow, which Bones decided wasn’t quite fair. Jim shouldn’t be allowed to use his own look against him. “You’re telling me that you want to be sicker?”

“No, of course not. But if I have to be sick, my instruments should at least accurately depict my suffering.”

“You know, for someone who supposedly feels awful, you sure are verbose this morning.” Jim waved the scanner around his own head. “Do you think this thing will accurately depict the level of my suffering?”

“Hmph,” Bones grumbled, rolling over so that his back was to Jim. “Fine. Mock me while I’m infirm.”

“Okay, okay,” Jim laughed. “Don’t be like that, I’m sorry.” He placed a hand to the back of Bones’ neck, let his fingers run through the short hair at the nape. “Do you want anything? Juice or toast or something?”

“Do you have a cure for the common cold?” Bones sniffled.

“I’ll work on it.” He bent down and pressed his lips to Bones’ temple, then his cheek.

“No kissing, Jim, not while I’m sick. It’s unsanitary.”

“You know I read once,” Jim said, moving his lips to Bones’ forehead, “that we are, as a society, entirely too sanitary. A few germs are good for the immune system.”

“You’ll regret it when your head is stuffed full of cotton and there’s no one to take care of us.”

“We can take care of each other,” Jim replied, kicking off his shoes. He slid easily between the sheets and pressed himself against Bones’ warm back.

“Jim, you cannot possibly be thinking about sex right now – and if you are, you can forget it, because there is NO way.”

“No sex,” Jim agreed. “I’m not opposed to cuddling.”

“You’re insane,” Bones grumbled.


“I haven’t showered.”

“I like your smell.”

“I’m cranky.”

“When are you not?”

“Shut up.”

Jim did.
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